After six long months of wedding planning, my husband and I are finally married. We said “I do,” danced as a married couple, and cut the cake. And just like that it was over. The whole experience was beautiful and redeeming. In hindsight, I would have much rather eloped in the english countryside and had an intimate and woodsy reception afterwards. Yet afternoon tea, bunting flags and whimsical calligraphy table numbers tied the rustic/vintage theme together nicely; certainly nothing to scoff at. The only thing we kept telling ourselves was, “We’ll be married and that’s all that matters.” In the end, we got some pretty pictures and I enjoyed walking around in that adored Jenny Yoo dress.

Planning a wedding yourself and without the help of a wedding coordinator means having very little time to engage in the activities you are passionate about. And for me that includes writing. So that is my excuse for my 6 month hiatus and I must say it is a pretty good one. If you think of something better, let me know.

I actually thought a lot about food in the months leading up to our wedding. Mostly because that period of time was the worst I think I had ever eaten in my life. I was in limbo, stuck between two lives. I lived with my parents but I also spent a lot of time with my husband. I found it very difficult buying groceries for one so I was at the mercy of whatever my parents had to eat or whatever my husband had to eat (which consequently wasn’t very much). I often found myself going through Starbucks in the morning, drinking copious amounts of coffee and by the afternoon if I didn’t pack a lunch, I was forced to buy fast food. For dinner, it was a last minute scramble to the grocery store. Do I pick up something pre made or fix up something quick and easy? As someone who aspires live the agrarian lifestyle to its fullest, this was a very difficult time for me. But it was my reality.

Things are much smoother now that we’re married. We actually have food in the house and we eat out far less often. It sustained me knowing there would be an end to the sporadic eating patterns I found myself in. If there wasn’t an end in sight I know I would have to change things – and fast. But now that we’re settling in, I’m finding what it means to be content. We don’t have a garden yet, but we will get to it next year. We’ve all gone vegan or vegetarian only to come right back to normalcy months later. We all know what it’s like to fail to live up to the call to live in harmony with the planet. Things happen. Life happens.

From now on, I’m not going to be led by the influence of others. I’m going to do what feels right for me and for our family. I’m going to work up to that agrarian lifestyle, instead of jumping headfirst into something that could collapse later. I’m going to live expectantly but realistically at the same time.

The key to living sustainably is a gradual change in lifestyle, just like anything else. I’m not saying total sustainability is unattainable for the average american household, but it must be approached slowly and steadily, with trial and error, and with much sacrifice in order to make this way of life stick.

Recognize where you’re at in your walk of life, but never let it limit you from reaching your potential.

– Adele